A gathering place for the tragedies and triumphs of the golfing community inhabited by the Podsies.
Golf is a fun but dangerous game!
Monday, July 13, 2015
Dateline: College Station, TX July 11, 2015
A couple of updates since the last post.
A number of fellas got together on July 5th to play Plantation. The weather was good, the pace of play was slow and for a number of us, the scores were high! But, the fellowship was fantastic and the beers were cold at the end of the round.
The highlight of the game was the debut of Davie's new clubs! According to local testimony, the new sticks hit straighter than the old models - unfortunately, they still have to be used the same number of times as the old sticks. But, Davie continues to prove it is ALWAYS the arrows, and never the Indian (I think I should be offended by that statement!)
A number of the fellas spent the weekend at the ranch which included a trip over to College Station to play the Texas A&M University Course.
We were joined by the greatness of one Ronald Timothy Screen who dazzled us with his golfing prowess and his finely tuned naturalist skills. The Screener spent so much time in the long grass hunting for whitey that his playing partners finally let "Ewell Gibbons" search on his own after his miss-hits. Even though Timmy was only able to show up with his "B" game, he did walk away with a share of the winners purse. I loved his response, he felt like he held someone up - he did - ME!
It wouldn't be a visit from the Screener if we did have at least one chorus of "Ring of Fire" - here goes....
My game was affected by a deep fall into a bottle of Fireball Friday night.....this video pretty much sums up how my game looked all day....
As all my readers know, this blog is about golf but golf is not the ONLY hobby enjoyed by the group. (BTW- drinking is the ONLY OTHER hobby enjoyed by the group) - the boys at the ranch enjoyed watching pilot Tommy fly his planes over the pastures of Milano several times. In fact, a few of the boys got to taste the hobby by taking control of the trainer plane (in Jeff's case, only for a few seconds as he flew on a steep dive - right into the ground!).
Here is a video of a plane recovery that could only happen at the ranch. Yes, I did ask someone to hold my beer before I attempted this recovery and no one was injured but I did get another redneck badge to add to my collection!
That's all for now....Wednesday Night Gold League this week.....some of us will miss in order to go listen to Coach Sumlin talk about how the Aggies are going to conquer the SEC this football season!
Dateline: Riverchase Golf Course, Coppell, TX July 1, 2015
Greetings Golf Podsies....
Last night we kicked off a trial run of the Summer Shootout set up and run with a firm hand by Mr, Howard. Kent - many thanks for volunteering to be the lightning rod for this whiny group....well, at least one whiner.....
The first night was a lot of fun....Tommy Clark continues his hot, hot streak with a sterling 37. Jim LaBounty carded a very respectable 40. The competition was close. Two three man teams won 3 holes each and our donkey team won 2 holes. - you can't get much closer than that....
In other news....
Mr. Kevin Ruck (another alias) was recognized as the Fan of the Day during a recent visit to Twin Creek Golf Course....
Fan of the day provided a bevy of privileges including balls, drinks, lunch....Mr. Ruck may have been the fan of the day for the golf course but he was even more of a fan for his 3 podsies....
During actual play, Kevie is not used to having sirens going off celebrating his outstanding play but he was treated to tremendous fanfare when he arrived celebrating his selection as Fan of the Day:
The course was not as friendly to Mr. Ruck - here he is demonstrating his shot making ability from tight spots...
Although the round was a little tough on the Fan of the Day, it all ended well when his Podsie decided to celebrate the day by sharing their Fireball with Mr. Ruck. Please note in the video that Kevie is doing his best McSquinty imitation - nice job Mr. Ruck!!!
It looks like a good time was had by all! Including the waitress!
As most of you know, Grumpy the Blogger is now a retiree - so, keep those pictures, adventures and crazy stories coming my way - I hope to step up my blogging as a way of filling time....
The annual L'Huillier Invitational was held over the weekend in Lake Whitney and Glen Rose, TX.
We missed our buddy John - he's the reason why we all get together every year. This was a great year for golf. Tommy (75) and Kent (78) had person bests out on the golf course. The fellowship was terrific, the new guys (Randy Wooley, Mike "Banjo" Middleton, Jim LaBounty and Jack Miller) somehow managed through the weekend without quitting early!
Thanks to the 13 trillion gallons of water that fell on Texas, we had to move Day 1 to Lake Whitney. Here is a picture of the boys prior to the first tee on the new course at Lake Whitney:
Lt. Dan led us in prayer for Johnny - I know I was inspired by his prayer and it helped me to realize that although we all had a great time, John is engaged in the fight of his life. Let's keep the prayers coming - John needs to come back next year and straighten out all the kinks introduced by the Jumbo Package's mismanagement of the process this year!
A funny thing happened on the way to Lake Whitney - we lost one of our soldiers - Mr. Etter was left in the crapper at Squaw Valley - that'll teach you Jeff! Out of sight, out of mind! Minutes from the designated tee time (after Jeff drove all over the state of TX trying to find us), I got a call asking if it was safe to cross some high water flowing over the road to the course. I told him to go for it - after all, my F150 made it no problem - here's what it looked like from the car - what a mess!
Jeff opted to turnaround and avoid an early crisis - he was also careful to avoid being AWOL when we decided to car pool back to Glen Rose.....
I was happy to serve as the assistant to the assistant commissioner - The Captain even let me hold the clip board! I didn't get to do much top help out the captain but I was in charge of the complaint and hugs departments.
Part of the fun of the weekend is the food. Squaw Valley takes good care of us during and after our rounds. Thanks to Mr. Ben George for treating the team to 12 pizzas on Friday night (Glen Rose had already closed by the time we got back to the hotel). A few of the early arrivals drove out west of town for a GREAT BBQ dinner on Thursday night. Thanks for the suggestion Randy!
Of course, for many of us, Saturday and Sunday mornings must start with a visit to the Big Cup for breakfast, inventory of damage done the night before, sermons from the Senator and general good bull and fellowship. Captain - this is what the place looks like:
Matty - why the sunglasses? Can you say "whiskey?" Timmy, did you feel like you were in a middle seat?
The feature match of the weekend was the titanic battle between George/Smits versus Taylor/Screen. The match was closed out 8 in 7 and I'll let you guys guess what team was on the plus side of the match...in fact, the Screener/Capt team played so bad that by hole 11, even the pole cats were running for cover!
Screener wanted to drive by Peppy LePew on the bridge but the Capt coached him up...."I say, I say BOY, that's a skunk BOY, A skunk I say - you know about skunks BOY, they stink BOY!!!"
The RAM was awarded to Mr. Etter after an emergency meeting of the Kangaroo Court on Friday afternoon even though Jerry Weston tom-a-hawked a club the full width of the fairway. It was an impressive throw compared to the relatively mild toss by the Otter. The court felt that since Mr. Weston resides in Oklahoma, it would be better to keep the RAM in TX. I guess Jerry didn't like not getting the award because here he is moments after tossing his putter into the adjacent pond:
The bad news is that the putter swims with the fishes, the good news is that Jerry played better after the toss AND he is going to ask Scott to mail the other RAM to Jerry as a replacement for his putter!
Sorry Jeff - you get to keep your award!
Speaking of awards ....here are the results from the Mechanic Sports Book being run out of LA:
Majors Pool – Jeff Etter hangs on thanks to Tommy’s career round. Any 4 strokes gained from Curt or Kent would have catapulted me to the top. Curt recounted many missed putts from today on the ride home. Damn it Jim! My buds screwed me!
Bracket Challenge: Sand Save Division – Tom vs Ben. Tom’s career low of 75 is all that needs to be said.
Par Save Division – a typical Kent-Steve matchup ends in a tie, and thanks to my personal kryptonite known as the 18th Hole at the Lakes Course, Kent wins the tie-breaker of Par 5 scores in order played.
Three Putt Division. Dr. Bob didn’t enter so Lt. Dan wins the cash, and even wins the match 1 up. That 10 on #2 only cost you one hole Lt. Dan!
Fed Ex Cup: Tommy with a 3rd, 2nd then 1st in order is all you need to know. And congrats to rookie Mike “Banjo” Middleton. He was picking and a-grinning his way to second with a 1st place on Friday and a tie for 2nd today. Kent Howard in 3rd, but no money for it, and he was the other daily winner.
So for the $300 total pot the winners are:
Jeff Etter - $100
Tom Clark - $100
Kent Howard - $30
Dan Corley - $30
Mike Middleton - $40
Thanks to a suggestion from the Mechanic a few years ago, Sunday morning is college day. Here are a couple of photos from warm ups Sunday morning. We also got the bonus of a great weather day!
And here is the final picture of the weekend - with everyone in team colors:
As I said at the beginning of the blog, the boys thought and talked about Johnny all weekend long. The Captain had another great idea (he's an idea man!). He asked Squaw Valley for a flag and we all signed the flag for him - it is on the way to you buddy - we love you!
And finally, the weekend would not be complete without a Top 10 list from our favorite golf professional - Mathew Lassen. Here's a picture of Matt on the way home after 90 holes. I told Tommy that Matt WAS NOT sleeping - he was thinking up his top to list!
Mission accomplished - here it is:
10. Team 5 wins (Smitty, Joe, Kent and Ben). Team 3 takes second (Kevin, Bob, Paul and Curt).
9. The determination that we would take relief from the sand traps. After long discussions (Good call Captain!)
8. Eagles by the three rookies, Mike Midldleton Randy Wooley and Jim Labounty!
7. Career best by Tom Clark 75(and yes he beat me however I coached him the whole way!!!!) Kent Howard 78.
6. Jeff Etter, (no I can?t wait any longer I have to go take a dump) misses the caravan to the golf course Friday morning.
5. The first tee shot on Saturday morning by Tim ?The Senator? Screener is interrupted by a blast from the air horn (great timing Smitty!!!) (It never gets old!)
4. A cautious drive through water going over to the White Bluffs golf course.
3. We played 90 holes of golf under the flooding, wet, rainy conditions - that was amazing!!!!!
2. The fellowship of 24 guys together, praying for our little buddy Johnny before any golf even started!!!!!!
And number one for the weekend?????????
1. The fine amenities at the Comfort Inn we stayed at - NOT!!!!!!!!
To wrap it all up - I loved what Jim said about the joint commission's decision about sand traps - to my memory (and his), I don't remember playing out of one sand trap in 90 holes!
And, Matty may not have been able to soak his old bones in the Comfort Inn's hot tub but he did get THREE hugs from the assistant to the assistant commissioner!!!! Who can beat that!
Dateline: The skies over the Great State of Mississippi May 17, 2015
Podsies:
It has been over a month since my last installment. I wish I had a good excuse for my inability to keep up with the blog but the only thing I can blame is being busy at work. The good news is that I should be able to reduce that load over the next few months.
We got a group together to play RiverChase last Saturday The back nine was closed but there was construction taking place - I'm told this will be one hell of a boat when it is done:
Seriously folks, enough of the rain already!
A couple of other funny moments from the past month.
We can always count on the Captain to entertain us - here he is hitting his second shot at number 16 at the Indian Creek Lakes Course.
In case you are wondering, those are the ladies tee markers in the background. The Captain was only a few inches away from pulling out the angry inch!
I had my troubles on the same day. Thanks to the best tape roller in the group, this classic video of a fat man squeezing through a tight space is now a part of golfing lore.
Yes, this does answer the question and it is easier for a fat man to squeeze through an opening in the fence versus trying to climb over the fence. Yes, this was a lot of work to recover a Noodle!
I was not able to join the Mechanic Open on April 23-24 (I hope I can still get one of the coveted Mechanic rags while in Glen Rose). I've heard a few of the stories and I'm submitting a couple of pictures. Congratulations to Curt Freeman for stringing together a 68-70 to win the event. I understand the grand prize included an oil change, lube job and a rusty wrench selected from the Mechanic's exclusive tool chest. Curt just needs to go to LA to collect. The best bad golfer in America, Mark (Captain, Bear, Jr. Commish) Taylor came in 2nd, Jim LaBounty 3rd. Good stuff.
I'm not 100% sure of the significance of the picture other than the raging water looks dangerous and this group is all about living dangerously!
In two weeks we will all gather together for the LuLu Invitational. It'll be a different tournament this year because we will all be rooting for our little buddy and hoping he can make an appearance to hit the ceremonial first drive. Keeping Fighting Johnny - we are all rooting for you. Here is a picture taken during the monsoon round at RiverChase. We all wear our bands as a reminder of how important our prayers are to your fight.
The circus stopped at Riverchase on Good Friday so the boys could donate money to the scholarship fund sponsored by the Coppell Aggie Club.
Christie filled in for John at the turn, passed out "sussies" and conducted the putting contest. We all got our picture taken with John....
We also picked up our whiskey...
On a funny note, Hoopless Tom Clark came this close......to a new watch...nice shot Tommy Boy...but, no cigar....
Although the Captain filled in admirably for Johnny as the "fetcher" for the raffle gifts, it just wasn't the same. Not bad from 140 yards out - I bet he could hit the flag pole at the ranch if we gave him 100 shots....
We miss you John - get well soon and we all look forward to you resuming your duties next year!
Dateline: Euless and the Great Texas Star Track March 29, 2015
After making the long journey down to Houston to help my son Bryan unpack after his U-Haul move from the Chicagoland area, I was able to get back to town in time to join the Lonesome Duffer - Mr. Kent Howard in a round of golf at Texas Star.
The two of us were joined by Dick and Rhonda (also from Euless) and off went.
It was a very close match - Kent played better than I did - we both shot 40's on the front, Kent shot a 49 on the back, I had a 48. Kent recorded the dreaded 10 on his card - he definitely played better than a 89.
No funny moments to record from out match....on the other hand, in another round somewhere in the metroplex, the whiskey boys (Davie, Kevin and Tommy) added a few new terms to our every growing golf dictionary....
The Kangaroo court will no longer "marshmellow" a fellow golfer - we will now "mushroom" our comrades into bad shots....thanks for the refinement of a wornout phrase Tommy Boy!
And one of my "poor putting podsies" You too can be eligible for the P3 club - all you have to do is score greater than 40 putts in a round - I had 42 up at Middelton's course! It's a new club I am forming and I welcome all shitty putters...but, I don't think K Ruck will ever be able to join because he has found the secret to better putting - after carding a birdie and when asked about his approach to the putt, Kevin said "it's simple, I WASN'T trying to make the putt" I'm pissed - after all these years of sucking because I was TRYING TO MAKE the putt! I'll try the Rucker approach on Friday at the A&M tourney.
Signing off, I was excited on Sunday evening because I thought the true commisoner (Johnny) was going to join us on Friday at the A&M scramble. Unfortunately, John will be back in the hospital. Let's all say a prayer for John and chip every shot close to the hole in tribute to his excellent short game!
The sky was angry on Saturday my friends. The weather man completely botched the forecast and we played in a roaring wind and spitting rain from time to time.
The course of record was Westridge. Normally, a course I love to play but Saturday was tough.
I could have sworn I was playing with a carbon copy of myself. While I struggled out of the gate with 3 consecutive bogies, Kent played the first 7 holes in 5 over. His new G30 Ping irons were launching the ball high and straight.
Unfortunately, while the Captain was working his magic on #7 with a chip in birdie (net eagle), Kent scored and par and then his mind left his body for the next 7 holes. He finished the stretch from 8 to 15 at a whopping 20 over. The good news is that the holder of one of the RAM awards kept his composure the whole time and no clubs were tossed. Kent, welcome to MY GAME!
The Captain brought #8 to it's knees. 3 well directed shots to the right of the property fence (the course is on the left side of the fence!) and the captain was BIPSIC with an 8 and he still had at least 180 yards to get to the hole...
I want to leave everyone with a smile on your face.
Captain, Wayno and I got to play a couple of hours of dominoeswith the commissioner. He is still fighting through some post surgery issues but there were lots of smiles and laughs.....I thought I was going to wet my pants after the Captain overbid Johnny to go 2 marks on a "sure thing" nello hand. Unfortunately for the captain, we smoked him out and sure enough he got caught with the "Captain domino" - the 5:6 - named from another "sure fire" nello hand by the captain!
Until next time boys....keep those cards and letters coming....
